Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
