After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
