3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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