No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
