I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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