My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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