I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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