I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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