Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
