The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wear drunk well.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
