sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
