Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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