Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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