we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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