I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
