seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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