Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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