thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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