He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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