She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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