I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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