We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
