Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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