We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
