So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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