But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
