Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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