When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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