i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
