haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
