he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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