Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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