Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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