So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
