I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
