Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
