YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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