I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
