oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
