i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
