Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
