Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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