Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
