Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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