I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
