Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
