Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
