So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my liver is dry heaving
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
