Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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