Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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