The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
